Funniest One Liners!

1The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car. Share on Facebook      
2Don't blame me, nobody asked my opinion. Share on Facebook      
3Worry. God knows all about you. Share on Facebook      
4A guy asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, "Yes, but not right now." Share on Facebook      
5Work is good, but it's not that important. Share on Facebook      
6Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place. Share on Facebook      
7I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well. Share on Facebook      
8People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened. Share on Facebook      
9You are right where you are supposed to be. Share on Facebook      
10Success comes in cans...Failure comes in can'ts. Share on Facebook      
11ARMY: Tracers work both ways. Share on Facebook      
12Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. Share on Facebook      
13One of my fondest memories of my grandfather was the day I went to his house and that tied-up man came hopping out of the closet yelling that he was my real grandfather and that the other guy was an impostor and that I should run away and call the police. Who was that guy anyway? Oh well, I never did see him again. Share on Facebook      
14On my walls I have pictures of the rooms on the second floor, so I never have to go upstairs. Share on Facebook      
15Never take a pill that has more side effects than you have symptoms. Share on Facebook      
16You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. Share on Facebook      
17God heals, and the Doctor takes the Fee. Share on Facebook      
18Chemistry: Physics without thought. Share on Facebook      
19To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing. Share on Facebook      
20A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. Share on Facebook