You might be a redneck if.....

981Your local yellow pages has only 3 sections: places to get cigarettes, place to get liquor, and places to get bait. Share on Facebook      
982Your mailbox holds up one end of your clothesline. Share on Facebook      
983Your mailing address includes the word "holler". Share on Facebook      
984Your Mama has failed the 3rd. grade five times. Share on Facebook      
985Your mama has more gadgets and accessories on her pickup truck than you do. Share on Facebook      
986Your mama saves aluminum foil. Share on Facebook      
987Your mama spends more money fixing up her old trailer house than it cost to build a new brick home. Share on Facebook      
988Your Mama was ever asked to leave a Bingo game because of her language. Share on Facebook      
989Your Mama yells, "Close the screen door boy, you're letting all the bugs out!" Share on Facebook      
990Your masseuse uses lard. Share on Facebook      
991Your mechanic looks under the front of your car or truck and asks if you work for the Roadkill Cafe. Share on Facebook      
992Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events. Share on Facebook      
993Your mom is lighting bottle rockets with her cigarette while walking the children on Halloween. Share on Facebook      
994Your mom is your sister,aunt and your dads mother. Share on Facebook      
995Your momma makes two turkeys for Thanksgiving, one for the family and the other for the dogs. Share on Facebook      
996Your moms maiden name is Bubba. Share on Facebook      
997Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. Share on Facebook      
998Your mother always said keep your nose clean and from this day on you pick your nose. Share on Facebook      
999Your mother doesn't put shoes on to go grocery shopping. Share on Facebook      
1000Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass. Share on Facebook