Funniest One Liners!

1I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. Share on Facebook      
2There is a pill for every ill, and a bill for every pill. Share on Facebook      
3Why does the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Share on Facebook      
4There is nothing wrong in having nothing to say, unless you insist on saying it. Share on Facebook      
5Most people get AIDS from sex; but President Clinton gets sex from aides. Share on Facebook      
6No-one suspects the butterfly! Share on Facebook      
7One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators. Share on Facebook      
8As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens. Share on Facebook      
9That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn! Share on Facebook      
10Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down. Share on Facebook      
11Time heals nothing, it merely re-arranges our memory. Share on Facebook      
12When I said 'death' before 'dishonor', I meant alphabetically. Share on Facebook      
13Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire. Share on Facebook      
14Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate-the bombs always hit the ground. Share on Facebook      
15I try to sell insurance to every telemarketer that calls me. Share on Facebook      
16A goal without a plan is just a wish. Share on Facebook      
17Bacon is a thing to fear, when it's made of mud. Share on Facebook      
18I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes. Share on Facebook      
19Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins. Share on Facebook      
20Love your enemies...just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards. Share on Facebook