| 1 | NASA has just completed work on a new rocket, nicknamed "Civil Servant." It won't work and they can't fire it. |
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| 2 | A flying particle will always seek the nearest eye. |
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| 3 | Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers. |
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| 4 | Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games. |
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| 5 | A more expensive tennis racket will not make you a better player. |
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| 6 | I own a 1979 Fiat 850 Spyder. A while back, the generator went out. I also lost a couple of bolts. The bolts I replaced with some cheap Japanese parts and the generator with a German remanufactured part. Since then, the bloody car has developed a severe case of meglomania and insists I support it in it's bit to rule the world and eliminate Yugos from the face of the earth. What Next? |
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| 7 | Cell-phone: a way to speak to yourself without anyone noticing. |
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| 8 | If at first you don't succeed, your successor will. |
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| 9 | By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. |
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| 10 | I may have a vacuum between my ears, but a least it's better than nothing. |
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| 11 | God is love, Love is blind, Ray Charles is blind, therefore Ray Charles is God. |
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| 12 | If you feel strongly about graffiti, sign a partition. |
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| 13 | The lesson is what you read in the fine print. The experience is what you get when you don't. |
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| 14 | Microsoft is to software what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking. |
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| 15 | Truth is not determined by majority vote. |
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| 16 | The beatings will continue until morale improves. |
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| 17 | I have enough money to last me the rest of my life,...unless I buy something. |
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| 18 | There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt. |
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| 19 | In your life you will love someone so much you could eat them, then you will get married and wish you had. |
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| 20 | At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying. |
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