| 1 | Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen. |
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| 2 | Your brain is that bodily organ which starts working the moment you awake and does not stop until you get into the office. |
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| 3 | Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. |
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| 4 | C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. |
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| 5 | Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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| 6 | I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled...
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| 7 | You know you live in a small town when the guy at the local convenience store speaks English. |
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| 8 | My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. |
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| 9 | Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. |
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| 10 | They who drink beer will think beer.
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| 11 | If stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out? |
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| 12 | There are people in this world who do not love their fellow man... I hate people like that ! |
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| 13 | If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? |
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| 14 | Entropy isn't what it used to be. |
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| 15 | Leave road kill for the next car.
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| 16 | If your uncle jack was on the roof would you help your uncle jack off? |
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| 17 | One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
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| 18 | It is never easy being a mother.If it were easy, fathers would do it. |
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| 19 | Nobody is perfect...until you fall in love with them. |
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| 20 | A status symbol is a symbol, not status. |
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