Funniest One Liners!

1AOL for Dummies is kind of redundant, don't you think? Share on Facebook      
2Four years ago... no, it was yesterday. Today I... No, that wasn't me. Sometimes I... No, I don't. Share on Facebook      
3Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares? Share on Facebook      
4White guy. Can't dunk. Share on Facebook      
5For Sale: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britainica. Never read because wife already knows everything Share on Facebook      
6Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible. Share on Facebook      
7When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Share on Facebook      
8Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. Share on Facebook      
9All you need is a sick mind and a healthy body. Share on Facebook      
10Wasting time is an important part of living. Share on Facebook      
11Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. Share on Facebook      
12SuPeR-cAlA-fRaGiLiStIc-ExPiAlIdOtIoUs...blah, blah, blah...I feel all "entellijant" now... Share on Facebook      
13Trust but verify. Share on Facebook      
14I prefer defending murderers. It's less depressing and as a rule I meet nicer people. - (A family attorney, turned defense attorney) Share on Facebook      
15Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. Share on Facebook      
16Gravity always gets me down. Share on Facebook      
17Consistency is the final refuge of the unimaginative Share on Facebook      
18Screw me if I'm wrong, but have we met before? Share on Facebook      
19Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. Share on Facebook      
20Jesus said, "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and render up to God what is God's." So, at the Last Supper, did He turn down the Caesar's salad? Share on Facebook