Funniest One Liners!

1Faith is not faith until it's all you're holding on to. Share on Facebook      
2Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to avoid work. Share on Facebook      
3They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken. Share on Facebook      
4One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early." Share on Facebook      
5Polynesia: memory-loss, in parrots. Share on Facebook      
6My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides. Share on Facebook      
7After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance. Share on Facebook      
8How much Healthy Choice Ice Cream can I eat before its no longer a healthy choice? Share on Facebook      
9I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. Share on Facebook      
10Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Share on Facebook      
11The one who says it can't be done should never interrupt the one doing it. Share on Facebook      
12Just because I don't care doesn't mean I do... Share on Facebook      
13As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many expressions that aren't. Share on Facebook      
14The next time your mind goes blank, do all of us a favor -- turn off the sound. Share on Facebook      
15There is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder. Share on Facebook      
16A little lie is like a little pregnancy it doesn't take long before everyone knows. Share on Facebook      
17Never let the bastards put you down! Share on Facebook      
18Drive not responding. [A]bort, [R]etry or [I]mpale? Share on Facebook      
19Man cannot live by bread alone. He also needs a roll of duct tape and a can of WD-40. Share on Facebook      
20Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down. Share on Facebook