Funniest One Liners!

1NASA has just completed work on a new rocket, nicknamed "Civil Servant." It won't work and they can't fire it. Share on Facebook      
2A flying particle will always seek the nearest eye. Share on Facebook      
3Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers. Share on Facebook      
4Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games. Share on Facebook      
5A more expensive tennis racket will not make you a better player. Share on Facebook      
6I own a 1979 Fiat 850 Spyder. A while back, the generator went out. I also lost a couple of bolts. The bolts I replaced with some cheap Japanese parts and the generator with a German remanufactured part. Since then, the bloody car has developed a severe case of meglomania and insists I support it in it's bit to rule the world and eliminate Yugos from the face of the earth. What Next? Share on Facebook      
7Cell-phone: a way to speak to yourself without anyone noticing. Share on Facebook      
8If at first you don't succeed, your successor will. Share on Facebook      
9By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. Share on Facebook      
10I may have a vacuum between my ears, but a least it's better than nothing. Share on Facebook      
11God is love, Love is blind, Ray Charles is blind, therefore Ray Charles is God. Share on Facebook      
12If you feel strongly about graffiti, sign a partition. Share on Facebook      
13The lesson is what you read in the fine print. The experience is what you get when you don't. Share on Facebook      
14Microsoft is to software what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking. Share on Facebook      
15Truth is not determined by majority vote. Share on Facebook      
16The beatings will continue until morale improves. Share on Facebook      
17I have enough money to last me the rest of my life,...unless I buy something. Share on Facebook      
18There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt. Share on Facebook      
19In your life you will love someone so much you could eat them, then you will get married and wish you had. Share on Facebook      
20At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying. Share on Facebook