| 1 | A twofold national problem is how to preserve the wilderness in the country and get rid of the jungle in the cities. |
   |
| 2 | You can fit a jar of bees into really big floppy shoes. |
|
| 3 | Wise men talk because they have something to say, Fools talk because they have to say something.
|
|
| 4 | Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed. |
|
| 5 | If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down. |
|
| 6 | God created man in his image. Being a gentleman, man did the same to God. |
|
| 7 | My Chinese girlfriend said "You shit in bed"... so I did. |
|
| 8 | You can no more win a war that you can win an earthquake. |
|
| 9 | Let's skip the insults and get right down to your butt kicking! |
|
| 10 | If at first you don't succeed....go back and reload the gun. |
|
| 11 | Pardon my driving. I'm reloading. |
|
| 12 | The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about a week. |
|
| 13 | Philosophy! Empty thinking by ignorant, conceited men who think they can digest without eating! |
|
| 14 | Only the insane have strength enough to prosper; only those that prosper may judge what is truly sane. |
|
| 15 | When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. |
|
| 16 | Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
|
|
| 17 | The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. |
|
| 18 | I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. |
|
| 19 | A man's life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him. |
|
| 20 | A backyard barbecue draws two things...flies and relatives. |
|
