| 1 | I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. |
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| 2 | There is a pill for every ill, and a bill for every pill. |
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| 3 | Why does the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? |
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| 4 | There is nothing wrong in having nothing to say, unless you insist on saying it. |
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| 5 | Most people get AIDS from sex; but President Clinton gets sex from aides. |
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| 6 | No-one suspects the butterfly! |
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| 7 | One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators. |
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| 8 | As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens. |
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| 9 | That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn!
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| 10 | Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down. |
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| 11 | Time heals nothing, it merely re-arranges our memory. |
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| 12 | When I said 'death' before 'dishonor', I meant alphabetically.
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| 13 | Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire. |
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| 14 | Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate-the bombs always hit the ground. |
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| 15 | I try to sell insurance to every telemarketer that calls me. |
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| 16 | A goal without a plan is just a wish. |
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| 17 | Bacon is a thing to fear, when it's made of mud. |
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| 18 | I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes. |
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| 19 | Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins. |
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| 20 | Love your enemies...just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards. |
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