Funniest One Liners!

1Cats make everything taste better. Share on Facebook      
2You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven. Share on Facebook      
3Well, paint me purple and call me Barney. Share on Facebook      
4If you came and you found a strange man teaching your kids to punch each other, or trying to sell them all kinds of products, you'd kick him right out of the house, but here you are; you come in and the TV is on, and you don't think twice about it. Share on Facebook      
5Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. Share on Facebook      
6God Bless America, but God help Canada to put up with them! Share on Facebook      
7Television is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done. Share on Facebook      
8I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public. Share on Facebook      
9Baby-sitter: a teenager acting like an adult, while the adults are out acting like teenagers. Share on Facebook      
10I wonder why a gynecologist leaves the room when women get undressed? Share on Facebook      
11ARMY: The enemy attacks on two occasions: When he's ready, and when you're not. Share on Facebook      
12There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot. Share on Facebook      
13I need not suffer in silence when I can still moan, whimper, and complain. Share on Facebook      
14Everyone who hates speeding tickets, raise your right foot. Share on Facebook      
15All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Share on Facebook      
16Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Share on Facebook      
17If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Share on Facebook      
18I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Share on Facebook      
19A waist is a terrible thing to mind Share on Facebook      
20Love is a fire. Whether it will warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. Share on Facebook