| 1 | If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit. |
   |
| 2 | Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss. |
|
| 3 | In your life you will love someone so much you could eat them, then you will get married and wish you had. |
|
| 4 | I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. |
|
| 5 | If I had my whole life to live over again, I don't think I'd have the strength. |
|
| 6 | Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers? |
|
| 7 | A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult. |
|
| 8 | The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
|
|
| 9 | Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes |
|
| 10 | Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up. |
|
| 11 | Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you. |
|
| 12 | Sometimes I need what only you can provide - Your absence.
|
|
| 13 | We live in an imperfect world, and we will act imperfectly in that world. |
|
| 14 | Love me, or BURN FOREVER. But you get a choice in the matter. Cool, eh? (God) |
|
| 15 | Friends are like stars. You may not always see them but you know they are always there |
|
| 16 | My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.
|
|
| 17 | Life would be easier if I had the source code. |
|
| 18 | Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't think you've done a permanent job.
|
|
| 19 | If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? |
|
| 20 | I'm gonna survive or die trying.
|
|
