Funniest One Liners!

1Bad spellers of the world, untie! Share on Facebook      
2Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait." Share on Facebook      
3Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. Share on Facebook      
4There are some strings. They're just not attached. Share on Facebook      
5"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual." Share on Facebook      
6Snowbank: where you keep your extra snow. Share on Facebook      
7You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more. Share on Facebook      
8It is seldom easy to do what's right or right to do what's easy. Share on Facebook      
9That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it. Share on Facebook      
10God created man before woman... but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. Share on Facebook      
11Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley. Share on Facebook      
12Do unto others... then bill them for it. Share on Facebook      
13The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused. Share on Facebook      
14Very few things upset my wife. It makes me feel rather special to be one of them. Share on Facebook      
15Age and knowledge don't always come together. Sometimes you just get the age... Share on Facebook      
16Visa is everywhere you want to be...except out of debt. Share on Facebook      
17Universal truth: The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. Share on Facebook      
18Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe halted. Share on Facebook      
19What you do when you don't have to do it will determine what you are when it's too late to do anything about it! Share on Facebook      
20The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. Share on Facebook