Funniest One Liners!

1A twofold national problem is how to preserve the wilderness in the country and get rid of the jungle in the cities. Share on Facebook      
2You can fit a jar of bees into really big floppy shoes. Share on Facebook      
3Wise men talk because they have something to say, Fools talk because they have to say something. Share on Facebook      
4Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed. Share on Facebook      
5If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down. Share on Facebook      
6God created man in his image. Being a gentleman, man did the same to God. Share on Facebook      
7My Chinese girlfriend said "You shit in bed"... so I did. Share on Facebook      
8You can no more win a war that you can win an earthquake. Share on Facebook      
9Let's skip the insults and get right down to your butt kicking! Share on Facebook      
10If at first you don't succeed....go back and reload the gun. Share on Facebook      
11Pardon my driving. I'm reloading. Share on Facebook      
12The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about a week. Share on Facebook      
13Philosophy! Empty thinking by ignorant, conceited men who think they can digest without eating! Share on Facebook      
14Only the insane have strength enough to prosper; only those that prosper may judge what is truly sane. Share on Facebook      
15When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. Share on Facebook      
16Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. Share on Facebook      
17The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. Share on Facebook      
18I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. Share on Facebook      
19A man's life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him. Share on Facebook      
20A backyard barbecue draws two things...flies and relatives. Share on Facebook