Funniest One Liners!

1Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen. Share on Facebook      
2Your brain is that bodily organ which starts working the moment you awake and does not stop until you get into the office. Share on Facebook      
3Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. Share on Facebook      
4C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. Share on Facebook      
5Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. Share on Facebook      
6I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled... Share on Facebook      
7You know you live in a small town when the guy at the local convenience store speaks English. Share on Facebook      
8My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. Share on Facebook      
9Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Share on Facebook      
10They who drink beer will think beer. Share on Facebook      
11If stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out? Share on Facebook      
12There are people in this world who do not love their fellow man... I hate people like that ! Share on Facebook      
13If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? Share on Facebook      
14Entropy isn't what it used to be. Share on Facebook      
15Leave road kill for the next car. Share on Facebook      
16If your uncle jack was on the roof would you help your uncle jack off? Share on Facebook      
17One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. Share on Facebook      
18It is never easy being a mother.If it were easy, fathers would do it. Share on Facebook      
19Nobody is perfect...until you fall in love with them. Share on Facebook      
20A status symbol is a symbol, not status. Share on Facebook