| 1 | All the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do. |
   |
| 2 | You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? How late do you have to be for a flight where you're like, 'Damn it - just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport'. |
|
| 3 | I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened. |
|
| 4 | Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked. |
|
| 5 | Fun is a good thing, but only when it spoils nothing better. |
|
| 6 | I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. |
|
| 7 | So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date. |
|
| 8 | I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. |
|
| 9 | Are you wearing lipstick? Well, mind if I taste it? |
|
| 10 | Time is merely a waste of reality. |
|
| 11 | If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth? |
|
| 12 | If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed? |
|
| 13 | Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were taken. |
|
| 14 | What goes 'clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, BANG'? An Amish drive-by shooting.
|
|
| 15 | I am so amazingly cool, you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip, I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. |
|
| 16 | Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. |
|
| 17 | Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before. |
|
| 18 | What do chickens think we taste like? |
|
| 19 | The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant. |
|
| 20 | Making love is great, but sometimes don't you just wanna get laid? |
|
