Funniest One Liners!

1I'm in shape. Round is a shape isn't it? Share on Facebook      
2Detroit: where the weak are killed and eaten. Share on Facebook      
3You can't change a man . . . unless he's in diapers! Share on Facebook      
4Did you sleep well? "No, I made a couple of mistakes." Share on Facebook      
5Air Pollution is a mist-demeanor Share on Facebook      
6Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid? Share on Facebook      
7When the mouth stumbles, it is worse than the foot. Share on Facebook      
8You can lead a fool to wisdom but you can't make him think. Share on Facebook      
9Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but it can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. Share on Facebook      
10Miss Piggy's last words, "I'm pink, therefore I'm ham." Share on Facebook      
11What this situation needs is a good leaving alone. Share on Facebook      
12By learning to obey, you will know how to command. Share on Facebook      
13If I have to get male pattern baldness, I'd like zig-zags please. Share on Facebook      
14There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. Share on Facebook      
15Do you ever get the feeling that your stuff has strutted without you? Share on Facebook      
16Sorry, I don't date outside my species. Share on Facebook      
17People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things. Share on Facebook      
18I have spent most of my money on women and beer. The rest I just wasted... Share on Facebook      
19My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant. Share on Facebook      
20Ya know honey, bigger is not necessarily better; and I can prove it. Share on Facebook