Funniest One Liners!

1If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit. Share on Facebook      
2Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss. Share on Facebook      
3In your life you will love someone so much you could eat them, then you will get married and wish you had. Share on Facebook      
4I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. Share on Facebook      
5If I had my whole life to live over again, I don't think I'd have the strength. Share on Facebook      
6Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers? Share on Facebook      
7A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult. Share on Facebook      
8The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. Share on Facebook      
9Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes Share on Facebook      
10Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up. Share on Facebook      
11Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you. Share on Facebook      
12Sometimes I need what only you can provide - Your absence. Share on Facebook      
13We live in an imperfect world, and we will act imperfectly in that world. Share on Facebook      
14Love me, or BURN FOREVER. But you get a choice in the matter. Cool, eh? (God) Share on Facebook      
15Friends are like stars. You may not always see them but you know they are always there Share on Facebook      
16My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference. Share on Facebook      
17Life would be easier if I had the source code. Share on Facebook      
18Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't think you've done a permanent job. Share on Facebook      
19If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? Share on Facebook      
20I'm gonna survive or die trying. Share on Facebook