Funniest One Liners!

1Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Share on Facebook      
2You may pretend to dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me. Share on Facebook      
3Worry is the first time you can't do it a second time; panic is the second time you can't do it the first time. Share on Facebook      
4Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop. Share on Facebook      
5Treat anger like gold. Spend it wisely or not at all. Share on Facebook      
6Equality!! If men and women were created equal, a judge in capital crime cases would have to make sure that women were hung like men Share on Facebook      
7Jewish Pagans are like regular Pagans. We believe in the Mother Goddess, we just feel guilty about not calling. Share on Facebook      
8How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures? Share on Facebook      
9All men are not fools, there are still some bachelors. Share on Facebook      
10Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Share on Facebook      
11All diseases run into one, old age. Share on Facebook      
12Happiness is a belt-fed weapon. Share on Facebook      
13Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time. Share on Facebook      
14Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others. Share on Facebook      
15How come you've never seen a plumber bite his nails? Share on Facebook      
16If God dropped acid, would he see people? Share on Facebook      
17I started seeing a therapist. She didn't know I was seeing her. That was kinda fun. Share on Facebook      
18Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy. Share on Facebook      
19Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. Share on Facebook      
20All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. Share on Facebook