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1661In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami. Share on Facebook      
1662In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. Share on Facebook      
1663In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world. Share on Facebook      
1664In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. Share on Facebook      
1665In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. Share on Facebook      
1666In the beginning there was nothing. And God said, "Let there be light.", and there was still nothing; but everybody could see it. Share on Facebook      
1667In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Share on Facebook      
1668In the dark I hold your hand, because in the light you look like a man. Share on Facebook      
1669In the event of war, I'm a hostage. Share on Facebook      
1670In the last 30 years, I've gone from "whatever" to "Depends". Share on Facebook      
1671In the pasture of life, don't be a cowpie. Share on Facebook      
1672In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life; it goes on. Share on Facebook      
1673In twenty years time, my toe knuckles will be so hairy I won't be able to lift my feet. Share on Facebook      
1674In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number. Share on Facebook      
1675In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. Share on Facebook      
1676In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Share on Facebook      
1677In your life you will love someone so much you could eat them, then you will get married and wish you had. Share on Facebook      
1678Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place. Share on Facebook      
1679Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please? Share on Facebook      
1680Indecision is the key to flexibility. Share on Facebook