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1641In life, you have two choices: get over it or die with it on your mind. Share on Facebook      
1642In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'. Share on Facebook      
1643In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! Share on Facebook      
1644In married life three is company and two none. Share on Facebook      
1645In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Share on Facebook      
1646In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs. Share on Facebook      
1647In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out." Share on Facebook      
1648In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues. Share on Facebook      
1649In order to grow as an artist, I feel it's important to do the same crap over at CBS. Share on Facebook      
1650In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. Share on Facebook      
1651In our family we don't divorce our men, we bury them. Share on Facebook      
1652In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some. Share on Facebook      
1653In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French. I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language. Share on Facebook      
1654In parts of the world, people still pray in the streets. In this country they're called pedestrians. Share on Facebook      
1655In poker, a good deal depends on a good deal. Share on Facebook      
1656In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap. Share on Facebook      
1657In retrospect, I suppose "supercalafragalisticexpialadocious" wasn't a great "safe word"... Share on Facebook      
1658In school I was never the class clown, but more the class trapeze artist...I was always being suspended. Share on Facebook      
1659In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. Share on Facebook      
1660In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal. Share on Facebook