Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other


1601If your fiancee is an existentialist, should you give her a disengagement ring? Share on Facebook      
1602If your name was homework, i'd be doing you on my desk right now. Share on Facebook      
1603If your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall. Share on Facebook      
1604If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. Share on Facebook      
1605If your uncle jack was on the roof would you help your uncle jack off? Share on Facebook      
1606If your wife doesn't know what she wants be happy, mine does! Share on Facebook      
1607If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Share on Facebook      
1608Ignorance will take you to a lot more interesting places than knowledge. Share on Facebook      
1609Ignoranus: a person who is not only ignorant, but an asshole to boot. Share on Facebook      
1610Illegal drugs are the chlorine in the gene pool. Share on Facebook      
1611Illiterate... what you are if you can't read this. Share on Facebook      
1612Illiterate?... Write for FREE HELP! Share on Facebook      
1613Imagination is intelligence having fun. Share on Facebook      
1614Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Share on Facebook      
1615Imagine the Creator as a stand up comedian - and at once the world becomes explicable. Share on Facebook      
1616Imagine there were no hypothetical situations. Share on Facebook      
1617Imitation is the sincerest form of television. Share on Facebook      
1618Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings". Share on Facebook      
1619In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion. Share on Facebook      
1620In a pinch, you can use your refrigerator as a toaster, but the toast won't be very good. Share on Facebook