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1561If you want to know the meaning of life, look in the dictionary! Share on Facebook      
1562If you want to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball. Share on Facebook      
1563If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. Share on Facebook      
1564If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: "I'm cheap!" Share on Facebook      
1565If you want your children to listen to you, try talking softly to someone else. Share on Facebook      
1566If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Share on Facebook      
1567If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. Share on Facebook      
1568If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Share on Facebook      
1569If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? Share on Facebook      
1570If you were on trial for being a Christian--- would there be enough evidence to convict you? Share on Facebook      
1571If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, we could do it in public. Share on Facebook      
1572If you will always insist that you are right, people will think that there is something wrong with you. Share on Facebook      
1573If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! Share on Facebook      
1574If you wonder if you're an addict, you probably are. Share on Facebook      
1575If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're Shakespeare? Share on Facebook      
1576If you're "not yourself today", enjoy it while ya can Share on Facebook      
1577If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much." Share on Facebook      
1578If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons? Share on Facebook      
1579If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? Share on Facebook      
1580If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it. Share on Facebook