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1281If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record. Share on Facebook      
1282If someone asks you how you feel don't answer, they're just trying to get you to reveal your weaknesses. Share on Facebook      
1283If someone calls me fat, I don't get angry. I just turn the other chin. Share on Facebook      
1284If someone cuts you off in traffic, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. Share on Facebook      
1285If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Share on Facebook      
1286If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing. Share on Facebook      
1287If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag? Share on Facebook      
1288If speed scares you, try Windows... Share on Facebook      
1289If stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out? Share on Facebook      
1290If stupidity was painful, you'd be in agony. Share on Facebook      
1291If suffering brings wisdom, I would wish to be less wise. Share on Facebook      
1292If Superman could stop bullets with his chest, why did he always duck when someone threw a gun at him? Share on Facebook      
1293If Superman is so smart, why is his underwear on the outside ? Share on Facebook      
1294If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Share on Facebook      
1295If tennis players get tennis elbow, do gynecologists get Tunnel vision ? Share on Facebook      
1296If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Share on Facebook      
1297If the 12 Apostles were to be marketed as action figures, would Judas be sold separately? Share on Facebook      
1298If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play? Share on Facebook      
1299If the early bird catches the worm, what about the worm? Share on Facebook      
1300If the frictional force is greater than the applied force, does the object move backwards? Share on Facebook