Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other


1201If I woke up today feeling like I did every day when I drank, I'd take myself to the emergency room. Share on Facebook      
1202If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. Share on Facebook      
1203If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now. Share on Facebook      
1204If idiots could fly this place would be an airport. Share on Facebook      
1205If ignorance is bliss, I guess that would explain why I'm so miserable! Share on Facebook      
1206If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria. Share on Facebook      
1207If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? Share on Facebook      
1208If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. Share on Facebook      
1209If it ain't broke, take it apart and fix it. Share on Facebook      
1210If it burns when you pee, make sure to bring a fire extinguisher. Share on Facebook      
1211If it doesn't work, expand it. Share on Facebook      
1212If it isn't broken, fix it until it is. Share on Facebook      
1213If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought. Share on Facebook      
1214If it wasn't for my random motions, blurtings and actions, I'd be as normal as you. Share on Facebook      
1215If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all. Share on Facebook      
1216If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark. Share on Facebook      
1217If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant. Share on Facebook      
1218If it were worth buying, they wouldn't be selling it door to door. Share on Facebook      
1219If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done... Share on Facebook      
1220If it's free, it's advice; If you pay for it, it's counseling; If you can use either one, it's a miracle ! Share on Facebook