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101I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do! Share on Facebook      
102I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol. Share on Facebook      
103I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. Share on Facebook      
104I can't cut the mustard, but I can still lick the jar. Share on Facebook      
105I can't dial 911.. There's no 11 on my phone. Share on Facebook      
106I can't live with death, he's always leaving the toilet seat up. Share on Facebook      
107I can't promise that I'll try. But I'll try to try. Share on Facebook      
108I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one. Share on Facebook      
109I can't remember the last time I forgot something. Share on Facebook      
110I can't say that my wife is outspoken...at least, not by anyone I know of. Share on Facebook      
111I can't spell and beer doesn't help. Share on Facebook      
112I can't think right now...I'm working Share on Facebook      
113I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. Share on Facebook      
114I clean my house every other day. Today is the other day. Share on Facebook      
115I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet. Share on Facebook      
116I considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays. Share on Facebook      
117I could be here or I could be there, unless I'm not at either place. Share on Facebook      
118I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time.... Oh what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant. Share on Facebook      
119I could retire nicely if I could sell my experience for what it cost me. Share on Facebook      
120I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Share on Facebook