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1161If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas! Share on Facebook      
1162If God is your co-pilot, switch seats with Him! Share on Facebook      
1163If God meant us to be naked, he would have made our skin fit better. Share on Facebook      
1164If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. Share on Facebook      
1165If good things come in small packages, then more good things can come in large packages. Share on Facebook      
1166If guns kill people, do spoons make people fat? Share on Facebook      
1167If having sex is like riding a bike, I must own a uni-cycle. Share on Facebook      
1168If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. Share on Facebook      
1169If he was any slower, he'd be going in reverse. Share on Facebook      
1170If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them. Share on Facebook      
1171If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? Share on Facebook      
1172If history is doomed to repeat itself, bring on the beheadings! Share on Facebook      
1173If homosexuality is a disease, can I call into work 'gay'? Share on Facebook      
1174If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. Share on Facebook      
1175If I can be of any help . . . you're in worse shape than I thought. Share on Facebook      
1176If I die, I'm taking you with me!... oh, -you're- dying? Forget I said anything. Share on Facebook      
1177If I ever caught another man flirting with my wife, I'd hide his leader dog. Share on Facebook      
1178If I ever have twins, I'd use one for parts. Share on Facebook      
1179If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me? Share on Facebook      
1180If I get you advantage, can I take drunk of you? Share on Facebook