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1141If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Share on Facebook      
1142If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve. Share on Facebook      
1143If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands. Share on Facebook      
1144If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Share on Facebook      
1145If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery. Share on Facebook      
1146If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the 'terminal'? Share on Facebook      
1147If Frank Sinatra owed you a favor, you should ask him to have one of his buddies kill Andy Williams. Share on Facebook      
1148If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people. Share on Facebook      
1149If girls get training bras, why can't boys get training condoms? Share on Facebook      
1150If God didn't want us to masturbate, he would've given us shorter arms. Share on Facebook      
1151If God dropped acid, would he see people? Share on Facebook      
1152If God had intended for man to use the metric system, Jesus would have only had ten disciples. Share on Facebook      
1153If God had intended man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. Share on Facebook      
1154If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. Share on Facebook      
1155If god had meant me to touch my toes he would have put chocolate on the floor. Share on Facebook      
1156If God had meant us to travel economy class, he would have made us narrower. Share on Facebook      
1157If God had wanted us in the army, he would have given us green baggy skin. Share on Facebook      
1158If God had wanted us to be ashamed of our nudity, he would have given us bigger hands. Share on Facebook      
1159If God is inside us, then I hope he likes fajita's, cause that's what he's getting. Share on Facebook      
1160If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. Share on Facebook