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1081If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Share on Facebook      
1082If a vegetarian is someone who eats vegetables, what does that make a humanitarian? Share on Facebook      
1083If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base. Share on Facebook      
1084If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? Share on Facebook      
1085If absence makes the heart grow fonder, some people must really love church. Share on Facebook      
1086If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth? Share on Facebook      
1087If all brides are beautiful, where do ugly wives come from ? Share on Facebook      
1088If all else fails, read the directions. Share on Facebook      
1089If all is not lost, where is it? Share on Facebook      
1090If all our national holidays were observed on wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends. Share on Facebook      
1091If all the cars on the Earth were lined up bumper to bumper, some idiot would try to pass them. Share on Facebook      
1092If all the girls in Australia were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised. Share on Facebook      
1093If all the misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart. Share on Facebook      
1094If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? Share on Facebook      
1095If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? Share on Facebook      
1096If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working? Share on Facebook      
1097If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Share on Facebook      
1098If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille. Share on Facebook      
1099If anything is used to its full potential, it will break. Share on Facebook      
1100If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished! Share on Facebook