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1041I've tried all season to put my thumb on it, but perhaps the problem is bigger than my thumb. Share on Facebook      
1042I've upped my expectations. Up yours. Share on Facebook      
1043I've wanted to run away from home more since I became a parent than when I was a child. Share on Facebook      
1044I, too, got too big for my britches, so I bought bigger britches. Share on Facebook      
1045Ideas are funny little things. They won't work unless you do. Share on Facebook      
1046Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work. Share on Facebook      
1047Ideas are like beards; men do not have them until they grow up. Share on Facebook      
1048Ideas won't work unless You do. Share on Facebook      
1049If "Q" were castrated, would he become "O"? Share on Facebook      
1050If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? Share on Facebook      
1051If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing. Share on Facebook      
1052If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? Share on Facebook      
1053If a 9 year old is clever enough to play video games, he's smart enough to run the washing machine.... Share on Facebook      
1054If a bi-sexual were to turn up missing, would they put his picture on a carton of Half & Half? Share on Facebook      
1055If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? Share on Facebook      
1056If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better? Share on Facebook      
1057If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far. Share on Facebook      
1058If a case of the clap spreads is it called applause? Share on Facebook      
1059If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? Share on Facebook      
1060If a dog sniffs your ass, you're probably a bitch. Share on Facebook