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1021Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. Share on Facebook      
1022Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence. Share on Facebook      
1023Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. Share on Facebook      
1024Chism's Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it. Share on Facebook      
1025Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. Share on Facebook      
1026Chocolate: the OTHER major food group. Share on Facebook      
1027Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day of your life. Share on Facebook      
1028Christians aren't perfect, they're just forgiven! Share on Facebook      
1029Church is the only place I know, where I can arrive late and get the best seats in the house! Share on Facebook      
1030Church: The only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. Share on Facebook      
1031Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Share on Facebook      
1032Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events. Share on Facebook      
1033Class, it's time for sex education. Eziekel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parent's wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls. Share on Facebook      
1034Classic: a book which people praise, but don't read. Share on Facebook      
1035Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing. Share on Facebook      
1036Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time. Share on Facebook      
1037Climate is what you expect: weather is what you get. Share on Facebook      
1038Clinton is in the supermarket picking up some things for the new office when a stock boy accidentally bumps into him. "Pardon me," the stock boy says. "Sure," Clinton replies, "but it'll cost you." Share on Facebook      
1039Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered. Share on Facebook      
1040Clones are people two. Share on Facebook