Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other


81For Sale: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britainica. Never read because wife already knows everything Share on Facebook      
82For Sale: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once. Share on Facebook      
83For Sale: Nordic Track, hardly used, call 555-1234, ask for Chubby. Share on Facebook      
84For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. Share on Facebook      
85For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake. Share on Facebook      
86For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life. Share on Facebook      
87Forbidden fruit creates many jams. Share on Facebook      
88Forbidden fruit has caused many a bad jam. Share on Facebook      
89Forecast for tonight: Dark. Share on Facebook      
90Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. Share on Facebook      
91Forest fires only lead to Smokey Bear - prevent them! Share on Facebook      
92Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. Share on Facebook      
93Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. Share on Facebook      
94Forgive and forget. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy. Share on Facebook      
95Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. Share on Facebook      
96Forgiveness is like the fragrance a flower gives after it's been stepped on. Share on Facebook      
97Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot. Share on Facebook      
98Four years ago... no, it was yesterday. Share on Facebook      
99Four years ago... no, it was yesterday. Today I... No, that wasn't me. Sometimes I... No, I don't. Share on Facebook      
100Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places. Share on Facebook