Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other


961I'm secretly a closet claustrophobic. Share on Facebook      
962I'm serious; it was a joke. Share on Facebook      
963I'm so broke I have to jack the dog off to feed the cat. Share on Facebook      
964I'm so broke, I go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers. Share on Facebook      
965I'm so confused I'm not sure if I lost my horse or found a rope. Share on Facebook      
966I'm so horny, I get aroused when I squeeze into a tight parking place. Share on Facebook      
967I'm so hyper (said with a very dull voice). Share on Facebook      
968I'm so lonely, my own tongue is starting to feel good in my mouth. Share on Facebook      
969I'm so old that, when I was in school, history was called current affairs. Share on Facebook      
970I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. Share on Facebook      
971I'm so poor, I have to window shop at the dollar store. Share on Facebook      
972I'm so ugly. I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. Share on Facebook      
973I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. Share on Facebook      
974I'm so ugly. My mother had morning sickness, AFTER I was born. Share on Facebook      
975I'm sorry, do I resemble your therapist? Share on Facebook      
976I'm starting to think that I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, there was an olive was in it. Share on Facebook      
977I'm still a hot babe, but now it it comes in flashes. Share on Facebook      
978I'm still single because my family-in-law cannot have children. Share on Facebook      
979I'm such a terrible lover, I've actually given a woman an anti-climax. Share on Facebook      
980I'm supposed to back up my hard drive, but how do I put it into reverse? Share on Facebook