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901I'm in therapy now. I used to be in denial, which is a lot cheaper. Share on Facebook      
902I'm just driving this way to piss you off. Share on Facebook      
903I'm just impressed you could write so legibly on your own butt. Share on Facebook      
904I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up. Share on Facebook      
905I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads. Share on Facebook      
906I'm living so far beyond my income that we're practically living apart. Share on Facebook      
907I'm making a list of all the things that I ought to do before I die. It's call my 'oughtobiography' . Share on Facebook      
908I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes, I need them. Share on Facebook      
909I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time. Share on Facebook      
910I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling. Share on Facebook      
911I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are just missing. Share on Facebook      
912I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. Share on Facebook      
913I'm not a pessimist. I'm just optimistically challenged. Share on Facebook      
914I'm not addicted to coffee, I just have an acute caffeine dependency. Share on Facebook      
915I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. Share on Facebook      
916I'm not aging, I just need re-potting. Share on Facebook      
917I'm not antisocial. I just don't like people. Share on Facebook      
918I'm not as think as you drunk I am. Share on Facebook      
919I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. Share on Facebook      
920I'm not completely useless. At the least I can set a bad example. Share on Facebook