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61Football doesn't build character. It eliminates the weak ones. Share on Facebook      
62For a fat girl, you don't fart much. Share on Facebook      
63For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3. Share on Facebook      
64For a while I didn't have a car. I had a helicopter, but no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. Share on Facebook      
65For christmas I want Santa's list of naughty girls. Share on Facebook      
66For Christmas, I got a new shirt and a piece of ass...they were both too big. Share on Facebook      
67For every "10" there are 10 "1's". Share on Facebook      
68For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. Share on Facebook      
69For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction. Share on Facebook      
70For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. Share on Facebook      
71For every idiot proof system devised, a new, improved idiot will arise to overcome it. Share on Facebook      
72For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble. Share on Facebook      
73For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong. Share on Facebook      
74For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Chances are you're one of them. Share on Facebook      
75For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. Share on Facebook      
76For good, return good. For evil, return justice. Share on Facebook      
77For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Then I filled my humidifier with wax, and now my room is all shiny. Share on Facebook      
78For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram. Share on Facebook      
79For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. Share on Facebook      
80For Sale: 1 Man, 7 woman hot tub, call 555-2583 Share on Facebook