Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other

61Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence. Share on Facebook      
62Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. Share on Facebook      
63Chism's Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it. Share on Facebook      
64Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. Share on Facebook      
65Chocolate: the OTHER major food group. Share on Facebook      
66Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day of your life. Share on Facebook      
67Christians aren't perfect, they're just forgiven! Share on Facebook      
68Church is the only place I know, where I can arrive late and get the best seats in the house! Share on Facebook      
69Church: The only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. Share on Facebook      
70Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Share on Facebook      
71Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events. Share on Facebook      
72Class, it's time for sex education. Eziekel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parent's wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls. Share on Facebook      
73Classic: a book which people praise, but don't read. Share on Facebook      
74Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing. Share on Facebook      
75Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time. Share on Facebook      
76Climate is what you expect: weather is what you get. Share on Facebook      
77Clinton is in the supermarket picking up some things for the new office when a stock boy accidentally bumps into him. "Pardon me," the stock boy says. "Sure," Clinton replies, "but it'll cost you." Share on Facebook      
78Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered. Share on Facebook      
79Clones are people two. Share on Facebook      
80Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Share on Facebook