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7281You're old when when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. Share on Facebook      
7282You're old when when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. Share on Facebook      
7283You're old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. Share on Facebook      
7284You're old when you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. Share on Facebook      
7285You're old when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. Share on Facebook      
7286You're old when your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" Share on Facebook      
7287You're ready for sobriety when the alcohol doesn't work anymore Share on Facebook      
7288You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Share on Facebook      
7289You're so ugly, a canibal would take one look at you, and order salad. Share on Facebook      
7290You're so ugly, you could practice birth control just by leaving the lights on! Share on Facebook      
7291You're special. Like, wear-a-helmet-all-the-time special. Share on Facebook      
7292You've been a bad girl. Go to my room. Share on Facebook      
7293You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven. Share on Facebook      
7294You've never been truly drunk until you've had to use a barstool as a walker to get home. Share on Facebook      
7295You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions? Share on Facebook      
7296Young men may exaggerate, but old men pretend. Share on Facebook      
7297Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son." Share on Facebook      
7298Your actions speak so loud that I can't hear what you're saying. Share on Facebook      
7299Your body would look good in my trunk. Share on Facebook      
7300Your brain is that bodily organ which starts working the moment you awake and does not stop until you get into the office. Share on Facebook