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7221You know you're getting older when happy hour is a nap. Share on Facebook      
7222You know you're in a small town when everyone knows whose credit is good, and whose wife isn't. Share on Facebook      
7223You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you exercise. Share on Facebook      
7224You know you're old when you reach down to get the wrinkles out of your panty hose and realize you aren't wearing any. Share on Facebook      
7225You know you're stressed out when you can hear mimes. Share on Facebook      
7226You know you're ugly when a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends." Share on Facebook      
7227You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. Share on Facebook      
7228You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike. Share on Facebook      
7229You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? How late do you have to be for a flight where you're like, 'Damn it - just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport'. Share on Facebook      
7230You know, when you're a fat guy you don't need a reason to sweat. Guys come up to me and go dude have you been working out? in the attic? and I go no, but I peeling an orange... like..and hour ago. Share on Facebook      
7231You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same. Share on Facebook      
7232You live on the edge? I fell off some time ago. Share on Facebook      
7233You look like shit. Is that in style now? Share on Facebook      
7234You make me hornier before 9 AM than most people do all day. Share on Facebook      
7235You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. Share on Facebook      
7236You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg. Share on Facebook      
7237You may pretend to dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me. Share on Facebook      
7238You might call it laziness, I call it efficiency. Share on Facebook      
7239You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more. Share on Facebook      
7240You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day! Share on Facebook