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701They say that money is not the key to happiness. If I had lots of money, I'd have the key made. Share on Facebook      
702They say that patience is a virtue, well I have been patient all my life and look where it's got me. Share on Facebook      
703They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning (picks up his glass of water from the stool). I like to live on the edge. Share on Facebook      
704They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense. Share on Facebook      
705They say when nature calls you should answer it, I say let the answering machine get it. Share on Facebook      
706They say you can't really know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.I say if they've got itsy-bitsy feet or some kind of foot disease, I don't wanna know 'em! Share on Facebook      
707They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them. Share on Facebook      
708They want cheap sentiment? I'll fill them so full of sap, they'll be blowing their nose with a pancake! Share on Facebook      
709They who drink beer will think beer. Share on Facebook      
710They're not hot flashes...they're POWER SURGES! Share on Facebook      
711They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid! Share on Facebook      
712Things are more like they are today than they ever were before. Share on Facebook      
713Things are more like they used to be than they are now. Share on Facebook      
714Things that must be together to work cannot usually be shipped together. Share on Facebook      
715Think "honk" if you're telepathic. Share on Facebook      
716Think globally, Act galactically. Share on Facebook      
717Think much, Speak little, Write less. Share on Facebook      
718Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Share on Facebook      
719Think positive. If you fall in the creek, check your pockets for fish. Share on Facebook      
720This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. Share on Facebook