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6661When I said 'death' before 'dishonor', I meant alphabetically. Share on Facebook      
6662When I say I'm telekinetic somehow everything moves away. Share on Facebook      
6663When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. Share on Facebook      
6664When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, "If this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety." Share on Facebook      
6665When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas... Share on Facebook      
6666When I walk backwards, it feels like I'm helping everyone else move forward faster. Share on Facebook      
6667When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you. Share on Facebook      
6668When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. Share on Facebook      
6669When I was 17 I thought my parents were to two stupidest people in the world. When I was 21 I was amazed at how much they had learned in 4 years. Share on Facebook      
6670When I was 8, I played little league. I was on first, I stole third, I went straight across. Earlier that week, I learned that the shortest distance between two points was a direct line. I took advantage of that knowledge. Share on Facebook      
6671When I was a baby, I kept a diary. I was reading it and it said: day one, still tired from the move. Day two, everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot. Share on Facebook      
6672When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. Share on Facebook      
6673When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. Share on Facebook      
6674When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead. Share on Facebook      
6675When I was a child I could remember anything... Whether it happened or not. Share on Facebook      
6676When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't understand what he said. Share on Facebook      
6677When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear. Share on Facebook      
6678When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Share on Facebook      
6679When I was a kid we were so poor, we would go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers. Share on Facebook      
6680When I was a kid, I fell into an upholstery machine...now I'm fully recovered. Share on Facebook