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6321Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her. Share on Facebook      
6322Ulcers are caused not so much by what we eat as what's eating us. Share on Facebook      
6323Under capitalism man exploits man. Under socialism it's just the opposite. Share on Facebook      
6324United We Stand... Divided We Stagger. Share on Facebook      
6325Universal truth: At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. Share on Facebook      
6326Universal truth: Bricks are horrible to carry. Share on Facebook      
6327Universal truth: Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. Share on Facebook      
6328Universal truth: Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. Share on Facebook      
6329Universal truth: Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. Share on Facebook      
6330Universal truth: Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. Share on Facebook      
6331Universal truth: Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. Share on Facebook      
6332Universal truth: Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. Share on Facebook      
6333Universal truth: In every plate of chips there is a bad chip. Share on Facebook      
6334Universal truth: Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. Share on Facebook      
6335Universal truth: Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. Share on Facebook      
6336Universal truth: No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. Share on Facebook      
6337Universal truth: Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. Share on Facebook      
6338Universal truth: Old ladies can eat more than you think. Share on Facebook      
6339Universal truth: Old women with mobile phones look wrong! Share on Facebook      
6340Universal truth: One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. Share on Facebook