Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other


6241To the eternal question 'Why' there is an equally simple answer 'Because'. Share on Facebook      
6242To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world. Share on Facebook      
6243To think too long about doing a thing, often becomes its undoing. Share on Facebook      
6244To walk only on sunny days is to never reach ones destination. Share on Facebook      
6245Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait." Share on Facebook      
6246Today I was arrested for scalping low numbers at the deli. I sold a #3 for 28 bucks. Share on Facebook      
6247Today in Art class we were going to paint a nude model, but the teacher sent her to the office for violating dress code. Share on Facebook      
6248Today in English we learned absolutely nothing about killing mockingbirds. Share on Facebook      
6249Today is the first day of the rest of this mess. Share on Facebook      
6250Today is the last day of your life so far. Share on Facebook      
6251Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Share on Facebook      
6252Today's children would be less spoiled if we could spank grandparents! Share on Facebook      
6253Today's program is brought to you by Oil of Oláy, the favorite oil of Spanish bull fighters. Share on Facebook      
6254Today's subliminal message is: ( ) Share on Facebook      
6255Today's subliminal thought is: Share on Facebook      
6256Today, "we have a choice. Share on Facebook      
6257Today, my marker board reads: 'This month is Farm Animal Awareness Week.' It is also National Singles week. Please do NOT get the two mixed up. Share on Facebook      
6258Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material. Share on Facebook      
6259Together we can lick pornography. Share on Facebook      
6260Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest. Share on Facebook