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41Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes. Share on Facebook      
42Urologists never have to advertise: They just open up an office and the patients come trickling in. Share on Facebook      
43USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. Share on Facebook      
44Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved. Share on Facebook      
45Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire. Share on Facebook      
46Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. Share on Facebook      
47Usenet is cheaper than drugs, just as addictive, but you have to know how to read! Share on Facebook      
48Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea: massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. Share on Facebook      
49Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none. Share on Facebook