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41Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier. Share on Facebook      
42Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist. Share on Facebook      
43Never insult a police officer while they're doing a body cavity search. Share on Facebook      
44Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river. Share on Facebook      
45Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that. Share on Facebook      
46Never laugh at live dragons. Share on Facebook      
47Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Share on Facebook      
48Never let the bastards put you down! Share on Facebook      
49Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. Share on Facebook      
50Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. Share on Facebook      
51Never mess up an apology with an excuse. Share on Facebook      
52Never miss a good opportunity to shut up. Share on Facebook      
53Never mistake motion for action. Share on Facebook      
54Never moon a werewolf. Share on Facebook      
55Never pass up an opportunity to pee. Share on Facebook      
56Never pick a quarrel, even when it's ripe. Share on Facebook      
57Never pick up a hitchhiking spleen, you don't know where it's been. Of course, if you're driving a pickup truck it can always ride in the back. Share on Facebook      
58Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on. Share on Facebook      
59Never put off the work until tomorrow what you can put off today! Share on Facebook      
60Never put off until tomorrow what you can forget about entirely. Share on Facebook