Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other


481I may not be Mr. Right, but I'll do ya until he shows up. Share on Facebook      
482I may not be the world's greatest lover, but number 2 is not bad! Share on Facebook      
483I may not be totally perfect, but some parts are pretty good. Share on Facebook      
484I mentioned that I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie. Share on Facebook      
485I met her at Macy's. She was shopping... I was putting Slinkies on the escalator. Share on Facebook      
486I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it. Share on Facebook      
487I misplaced my dictionary...now I'm at a loss for words. Share on Facebook      
488I miss you like a retard misses the point. Share on Facebook      
489I mixed Rogaine with Viagra... now I've got hair like Don King. Share on Facebook      
490I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open. Share on Facebook      
491I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in hell, until I met you. Share on Facebook      
492I must be a proctologist... because I work with assholes. Share on Facebook      
493I must be getting old. About half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief." Share on Facebook      
494I must be getting older. Lately, all I'm looking for is a one-night sit. Share on Facebook      
495I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book. Share on Facebook      
496I myself have never been able to find out what precisely feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat. Share on Facebook      
497I named my dog 'Herpes' because he won't heel. Share on Facebook      
498I need just enough to tide me over and then I need MORE. Share on Facebook      
499I need my sinuses like I need a hole in the head. Share on Facebook      
500I need not suffer in silence when I can still moan, whimper, and complain. Share on Facebook