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401When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one. Share on Facebook      
402When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas! Share on Facebook      
403When you think you have someone eating out of your hand, count your fingers. Share on Facebook      
404When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine "Louie". Share on Facebook      
405When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil. Share on Facebook      
406When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Share on Facebook      
407When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum. Share on Facebook      
408When your heart speaks, take good notes. Share on Facebook      
409When your IQ hits 80, sell. Share on Facebook      
410When your life shatters into a million pieces, pick up the pieces, grab some glue, and make a new one. Share on Facebook      
411When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. Share on Facebook      
412When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt. Share on Facebook      
413Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do? Share on Facebook      
414Whenever I start feeling blue, I start breathing again. Share on Facebook      
415Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. Share on Facebook      
416Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff. Share on Facebook      
417Whenever you make a big buy, it will go on sale the next day. Share on Facebook      
418Where am I going? And why am I in this HANDBASKET? Share on Facebook      
419Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? Share on Facebook      
420Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Share on Facebook