Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other

381The perfect gift for people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. Share on Facebook      
382The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused. Share on Facebook      
383The person who says he trusts no one should include himself. Share on Facebook      
384The plural form of moose is actually meese. Share on Facebook      
385The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority. Share on Facebook      
386The preacher said "You always have the lord by your side" - I was so pleased to be informed of this I ran 20 red lights home! Share on Facebook      
387The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep. Share on Facebook      
388The president of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing and able to lay down your life for his country. Share on Facebook      
389The previously arriving feathered vertebrate procures the invertebrate crawler. Share on Facebook      
390The probability of forgetting something is directly proportional to... to... uh... oh never mind Share on Facebook      
391The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action. Share on Facebook      
392The probability that the piece of toast will land jelly side down is in direct proportion to the value of the carpet. Share on Facebook      
393The problem with being bisexual is that you get twice as many chances to be rejected. Share on Facebook      
394The problem with reality is a lack of background music. Share on Facebook      
395The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. Share on Facebook      
396The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Share on Facebook      
397The proctologist called...they found your head. Share on Facebook      
398The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat. Share on Facebook      
399The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later. Share on Facebook      
400The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round. Share on Facebook