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381My wife is so skinny, she can tread water in a garden hose. Share on Facebook      
382My wife is so ugly... a cannibal took one look at her and ordered salad. Share on Facebook      
383My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... or something like that. Share on Facebook      
384My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. Share on Facebook      
385My wife not only fakes orgasms, she fakes cooking & housekeeping too. Share on Facebook      
386My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! Share on Facebook      
387My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you"... I'm sure going to miss her. Share on Facebook      
388My wife says I never listen... or something like that... Share on Facebook      
389My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns. Share on Facebook      
390My wife says I'm too nosey... at least, that's what she wrote in her diary. Share on Facebook      
391My wife says my lovemaking is like a news bulletin. Brief, unexpected and usually a disaster. Share on Facebook      
392My wife says my sex drive has taken up walking. Share on Facebook      
393My wife says she enjoys my company... it's a good thing I own it. Share on Facebook      
394My wife says that the difference between a husband and childbirth is that one can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby. Share on Facebook      
395My wife says that when she tells me something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. When I tell her something, It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. Share on Facebook      
396My wife submits and I obey, she always lets me have her way. Share on Facebook      
397My wife thinks "freedom of the press" means no-iron clothes. Share on Facebook      
398My wife told me that I have a VCR: Very Cute Rear Share on Facebook      
399My wife wanted to renew our vows. I told her I don't want to make the same mistake twice. Share on Facebook      
400My wife went shopping for feminine protection. She decided on a thirty eight revolver. Share on Facebook