Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other


21Saving pus in a mason jar on a shelf by your front door, while being an admirable goal, will not only attract flies, but can also be taxed in some states. Share on Facebook      
22Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It! Share on Facebook      
23Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down. Share on Facebook      
24Say it with flowers - Give her a triffid. Share on Facebook      
25Say no, then negotiate. Share on Facebook      
26Say not you know another entirely, till you have divided an inheritance with him. Share on Facebook      
27Scandisk is now checking your hard drive. You can start praying. Share on Facebook      
28Schizophrenia beats being alone. Share on Facebook      
29Scholars have long known that fishing eventually turns men into philosophers. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher's salary. Share on Facebook      
30School is just an elaborate plot by vampires to obtain the blood of teenagers through periodic blood-drives. Share on Facebook      
31Science is always simple and always profound. It is only the half-truths that are dangerous. Share on Facebook      
32Science is not a sacred cow. Science is a horse. Don't worship it. Feed it. Share on Facebook      
33Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called "a wedding cake". Share on Facebook      
34Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, you're it. Share on Facebook      
35Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's. Share on Facebook      
36Scratch a cat and you'll find a permanent job. Share on Facebook      
37Screw me if I'm wrong, but have we met before? Share on Facebook      
38Screw up your life, you've screwed everything else up. Share on Facebook      
39Screw world peace, visualize DRIVING. Share on Facebook      
40Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. Share on Facebook