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21I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life. Share on Facebook      
22I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 96% how I react to it. Share on Facebook      
23I am dehydrated potassium sulfate compressed into a gaseous form and contained promptly in an air compressed locking mechanism with adequate, exact, and steady temperatures within a scientific facility somewhere off the coast of Vancouver, Canada, hear me roar. Share on Facebook      
24I am diagonally parked between two parallel universes! Share on Facebook      
25I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. Share on Facebook      
26I am Fudd, of Borg. Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm assimiwating. Share on Facebook      
27I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up i will just hit them all at once. Share on Facebook      
28I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me. Share on Facebook      
29I am having an out of money experience. Share on Facebook      
30I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. Share on Facebook      
31I am infaliable. Share on Facebook      
32I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. Share on Facebook      
33I am not an organ donor, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army. Share on Facebook      
34I am not fat, I am a nutritional overachiever. Share on Facebook      
35I am not going bald... I'm getting more head. Share on Facebook      
36I am not honking because I love Jesus -- I'm honking 'cause you can't drive! Share on Facebook      
37I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead. Share on Facebook      
38I am not single, I'm romantically challenged. Share on Facebook      
39I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't knowwhen I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job,and I don't want it. Share on Facebook      
40I am not young enough to know everything. Share on Facebook