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21Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here." Share on Facebook      
22Hallmark Card: "I've always wanted someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind." Share on Facebook      
23Hallmark Card: "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister." Share on Facebook      
24Hallmark Card: "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the hell was I thinking?" Share on Facebook      
25Hallmark Card: "Someday I hope to get married, but not to you." Share on Facebook      
26Hallmark Card: "Thanks for being part of my life!! I never knew what evil was before this!!" Share on Facebook      
27Hallmark Card: "We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits." Share on Facebook      
28Hallmark Card: "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.... so we're having you put to sleep." Share on Facebook      
29Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. Share on Facebook      
30Handy Guide to Modern Science: 1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.3. If it doesn't work, it's physics. Share on Facebook      
31Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. Share on Facebook      
32Happiness is a belt-fed weapon. Share on Facebook      
33Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family... in another city. Share on Facebook      
34Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. Share on Facebook      
35Happiness is merely the remission of pain. Share on Facebook      
36Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so that his arms and legs form "spokes." Happiness is when he stops. Share on Facebook      
37Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law... on a milk carton. Share on Facebook      
38Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. Share on Facebook      
39Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have. Share on Facebook      
40Happiness: the agreeable sensation felt while contemplating the misery of others. Share on Facebook