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361When there's a will, there's a way..when there's a won't, there isn't. Share on Facebook      
362When there's nothing on TV, most people will watch it anyway. Share on Facebook      
363When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in. Share on Facebook      
364When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. Share on Facebook      
365When they say "instant credit," don't they actually mean "instant debt"? Share on Facebook      
366When they say Doctors are practicing, they aren't kidding. Share on Facebook      
367When two's company, three's the result. Share on Facebook      
368When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage? Share on Facebook      
369When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'? Share on Facebook      
370When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! Share on Facebook      
371When we learn all the answers, they change the questions. Share on Facebook      
372When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness. Share on Facebook      
373When we went to Las Vegas, I told my wife I wanted to gamble, but she said No Dice. Share on Facebook      
374When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise! Share on Facebook      
375When we were using, we didn't have relationships, we took prisoners and held hostages. Share on Facebook      
376When women go wrong, men go right after them. Share on Facebook      
377When you aim for perfection you discover it is a moving target. Share on Facebook      
378When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing. Share on Facebook      
379When you are born you are crying and everyone around you is smiling.Live your life so that when you die you are smiling and everyone around you is crying. Share on Facebook      
380When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut. Share on Facebook