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361My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures. Share on Facebook      
362My VCR flashes 01:35, 01:35, 01:35, ... Share on Facebook      
363My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York. Share on Facebook      
364My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. Share on Facebook      
365My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong, and she agrees with me. Share on Facebook      
366My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. Share on Facebook      
367My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. Share on Facebook      
368My wife and I were happy for twenty. Then we met! Share on Facebook      
369My wife came home one day and said, "Look honey, I lost 15 pounds." I said, "If you look behind you, you'll find it." Share on Facebook      
370My wife complained about not being wanted, so I went to the post office and put up her picture. Share on Facebook      
371My wife could have had any man she pleased...she just couldn't please any of them. Share on Facebook      
372My wife dresses to kill. Too bad she cooks the same way. Share on Facebook      
373My wife gives me sound advice. That's 99% sound and 1% advice. Share on Facebook      
374My wife got a mudpack and looked great for two days. ...then the mud fell off. Share on Facebook      
375My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. Share on Facebook      
376My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. Share on Facebook      
377My wife is do dumb...she thinks mutual orgasm is an insurance company. Share on Facebook      
378My wife is mad at me. I told her she had a run in her nylons, but she wasn't wearing any. Share on Facebook      
379My wife is on a well-known diet plan... so far she's lost $300. Share on Facebook      
380My wife is so bored with sex, she only moans during commercial breaks. Share on Facebook