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341I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. Share on Facebook      
342I have friends who swear they dream in color. I say it's just a pigment of their imagination. Share on Facebook      
343I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. Share on Facebook      
344I have had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being so charming. Share on Facebook      
345I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. Share on Facebook      
346I have learned there is little difference in husbands, you might as well keep the first. Share on Facebook      
347I have multiple personalities. Three of them are here now. Meet Ruby, Princess and Joe. Share on Facebook      
348I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them. Share on Facebook      
349I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Share on Facebook      
350I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question. Share on Facebook      
351I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat. Share on Facebook      
352I have no problem keeping secrets. It's the people I tell... Share on Facebook      
353I have not failed. I have just found ten thousand ways that will not work. Share on Facebook      
354I have nothing to declare except my genius. Share on Facebook      
355I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. Share on Facebook      
356I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. Share on Facebook      
357I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. Share on Facebook      
358I have seen the truth and it makes no sense. Share on Facebook      
359I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. Share on Facebook      
360I have spent most of my money on women and beer. The rest I just wasted... Share on Facebook