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321When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye! Share on Facebook      
322When life hands you gators, make Gatorade. Share on Facebook      
323When life hands you lemons, squeeze them between your bitter fingers and throw them at the wall. Share on Facebook      
324When life seems like an uphill climb, take comfort in the fact that you're mooning everyone behind you. Share on Facebook      
325When men send flowers for no reason, there's a reason. Share on Facebook      
326When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four." Share on Facebook      
327When my wife saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. Share on Facebook      
328When people are free to do what they want they usually imitate one another. Share on Facebook      
329When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy - When planets do it we say they are orbiting. Share on Facebook      
330When Peter chopped off the Centurion's ear at Gethsemene, and Jesus healed it, did He offer the Centurion a lollipop for being such a brave little man? Share on Facebook      
331When sailors want to get clean, they throw themselves overboard and wash upon the beach. Share on Facebook      
332When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. Share on Facebook      
333When shooting a mime, don't use a silencer or his friends will hear you. Share on Facebook      
334When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? Share on Facebook      
335When signing a contract, it helps to remember "the big-type gives, and the small-type takes away". Share on Facebook      
336When someone asks me what I think, I tell them: "I think all of the meat around a pig's ass is pork." Share on Facebook      
337When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Share on Facebook      
338When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? Share on Facebook      
339When someone points skyward, it's the fool that looks at the finger. Share on Facebook      
340When speaking to your children: say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't be mean when you say it. Share on Facebook