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321My Mother is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips! Share on Facebook      
322My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. Share on Facebook      
323My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait." Share on Facebook      
324My mother wants grandchildren, so I said, "Mom, go for it !" Share on Facebook      
325My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often. Share on Facebook      
326My mother-in-law is very well informed. She can complain on any subject! Share on Facebook      
327My neighbor has a circular driveway, he can't get out. Share on Facebook      
328My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a will. He said, "Will!? What will? I'm making a list of the people I wanna bite." Share on Facebook      
329My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Share on Facebook      
330My new health club is so fancy, they have a spiral StairMaster. Share on Facebook      
331My new secretary must be absent minded. She left her clothes at the office and took me to the cleaners. Share on Facebook      
332My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and a large trash can. Share on Facebook      
333My night light is a searchlight. If I have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I have to time it so I don't get caught. Share on Facebook      
334My nipples explode with delight. Share on Facebook      
335My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Share on Facebook      
336My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. Share on Facebook      
337My parents put us to sleep by tossing us in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for this method to work. Share on Facebook      
338My parents were so poor, they got married for the rice. Share on Facebook      
339My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy. Share on Facebook      
340My penmanship is certainly nothing to write home about. Share on Facebook