Browse all oneliners

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z   Other


301The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. Share on Facebook      
302The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven's unfinished basement. Share on Facebook      
303The newest vitamin is made from chicken soup. It makes men cocky and women lay better. Share on Facebook      
304The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world. Share on Facebook      
305The next time your mind goes blank, do all of us a favor -- turn off the sound. Share on Facebook      
306The nice part about dating a homeless girl is that after the date, you can drop her off anywhere. Share on Facebook      
307The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does. Share on Facebook      
308The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault. Share on Facebook      
309The nice thing about standards is, there are so many to choose from. Share on Facebook      
310The nice thing about Windows - it does not just crash; it actually displays a dialogue box and lets you press OK first. Share on Facebook      
311The nicest thing about a nudist wedding is you don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is. Share on Facebook      
312The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. Share on Facebook      
313The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it. Share on Facebook      
314The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. Share on Facebook      
315The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. Share on Facebook      
316The obscure we see eventually, the completely apparent takes a little longer. Share on Facebook      
317The official state bird of New Jersey is the middle finger. Share on Facebook      
318The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. Share on Facebook      
319The older I get, the older old is. Share on Facebook      
320The older you get, the better you realize you were. Share on Facebook