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301I hate books. They only teach us to talk about things we know nothing about. Share on Facebook      
302I hate cooking so much, I don't even butter my bread. Share on Facebook      
303I hate everybody, and you're next. Share on Facebook      
304I hate graffiti. In fact, I hate all Italian food. Share on Facebook      
305I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night. Share on Facebook      
306I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood. Share on Facebook      
307I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled... Share on Facebook      
308I hate the country, all those animals walking around un-cooked. Share on Facebook      
309I hate you because the B-52's made "Rock Lobster". Share on Facebook      
310I have a bad slice in my golf swing, now my golf partner is dead. Share on Facebook      
311I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it. Share on Facebook      
312I have a degree in Liberal Arts - do you want fries with that? Share on Facebook      
313I have a devoted wife who lets me give it to her both ways...Cash or Credit. Share on Facebook      
314I have a friend named Dennis. Both of his parents were midgets, but he isn't a midget. He's a midget-dwarf. He's two inches tall. He's the one who poses for trophies. Share on Facebook      
315I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad. Share on Facebook      
316I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it. Share on Facebook      
317I have a lot of issues with sex... mostly Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler. Share on Facebook      
318I have a map of the United States, actual size. It says "Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it. Share on Facebook      
319I have a map of the United States, life size. 1 mile equals 1 mile. It's a bitch to fold it. Share on Facebook      
320I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. Share on Facebook