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261My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette. We passed around six girls and one of them had VD. Share on Facebook      
262My gamer fragged your honor student. Share on Facebook      
263My girl friend has a queen sized bed, I have a court jester size bed. It's red and green and has bells on it. The ends curl up. Share on Facebook      
264My girlfiend said to me in bed last night, "You're a pervert". I said, "That's a big word for a girl of nine". Share on Facebook      
265My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading. Share on Facebook      
266My girlfriend and I went on a picnic. I don't know how she did it, but she got poison ivy on the brain. When it itched, the only way she could scratch it was to think about sandpaper. Share on Facebook      
267My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour. I said the whole time. Share on Facebook      
268My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"? Share on Facebook      
269My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. Share on Facebook      
270My girlfriend got poison ivy on her brain and the only way she can scratch it is if she thinks about sandpaper. Her father is the guy who designed the diagram to show you which way to put the batteries in something. Share on Facebook      
271My girlfriend is so stupid, she thought an innuendo was an Italian suppository! Share on Facebook      
272My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends. Share on Facebook      
273My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, "If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, forget it." Share on Facebook      
274My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. Share on Facebook      
275My goal in life is to hurt you, severely, come here. Share on Facebook      
276My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions? Share on Facebook      
277My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me. Share on Facebook      
278My grandfather invented Cliff's Notes. It all started back in 1912. Well, to make a long story short... Share on Facebook      
279My grandfather is hard of hearing and has to read lips. I don't mind, but he uses those damn yellow high-lighters. Share on Facebook      
280My grandmother is eighty and still doesn't need glasses... She drinks straight out of the carton. Share on Facebook