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201Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait! Not me! You. Share on Facebook      
202Sometimes I think that the only way you can get stupider is to get bigger. Share on Facebook      
203Sometimes I think that this world is another planet's Hell. Share on Facebook      
204Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. Share on Facebook      
205Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep Share on Facebook      
206Sometimes I wish life had subtitles! Share on Facebook      
207Sometimes I... No, I don't. Share on Facebook      
208Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push. Share on Facebook      
209Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. Share on Facebook      
210Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. Share on Facebook      
211Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. Share on Facebook      
212Sometimes you can't hear me because sometimes I talk in parentheses. Share on Facebook      
213Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man. Share on Facebook      
214Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain - unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt. Share on Facebook      
215Sorry I missed church. I've been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian. Share on Facebook      
216Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not. Share on Facebook      
217Sorry, I don't date outside my species. Share on Facebook      
218South Korea's got SeOUL! Share on Facebook      
219Sow your wild oats on Saturday night...then pray for crop failure on Sunday. Share on Facebook      
220Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family. Share on Facebook