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201Most would rather be ruined by praise than saved by critisism. Share on Facebook      
202Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before. Share on Facebook      
203Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. Share on Facebook      
204Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a gun. Share on Facebook      
205Multitasking means screwing up several things at once. Share on Facebook      
206Murphy's Law isn't recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work. Share on Facebook      
207MURPHY'S LAW: If anything can go wrong, it will. MURPHY'S LAW ADDITON: If anything that could go wrong doesn't go wrong, it would have been ultimately better for it to have gone wrong. Share on Facebook      
208My accountant came up with so many deductions, I had enough left over for bail. Share on Facebook      
209My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not you'll become a philosopher. Share on Facebook      
210My attention isn't hard to get. But it *is* hard to keep... Share on Facebook      
211My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. Share on Facebook      
212My bed is broken, can I sleep in yours? Share on Facebook      
213My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself. Share on Facebook      
214My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for midnight mass ? Share on Facebook      
215My body is a temple...with ample parking in the rear. Share on Facebook      
216My Bologna has a first name, it's BOB. Share on Facebook      
217My boss says I could be replaced by a machine...funny, that's what my wife says. Share on Facebook      
218My boyfriend has no trouble committing... adultery. Share on Facebook      
219My brother is so stupid, he took Viagra so he could join Up With People. Share on Facebook      
220My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides. Share on Facebook