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1Ulcers are caused not so much by what we eat as what's eating us. Share on Facebook      
2Under capitalism man exploits man. Under socialism it's just the opposite. Share on Facebook      
3United We Stand... Divided We Stagger. Share on Facebook      
4Universal truth: At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. Share on Facebook      
5Universal truth: Bricks are horrible to carry. Share on Facebook      
6Universal truth: Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. Share on Facebook      
7Universal truth: Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. Share on Facebook      
8Universal truth: Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. Share on Facebook      
9Universal truth: Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. Share on Facebook      
10Universal truth: Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. Share on Facebook      
11Universal truth: Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. Share on Facebook      
12Universal truth: In every plate of chips there is a bad chip. Share on Facebook      
13Universal truth: Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. Share on Facebook      
14Universal truth: Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. Share on Facebook      
15Universal truth: No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. Share on Facebook      
16Universal truth: Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. Share on Facebook      
17Universal truth: Old ladies can eat more than you think. Share on Facebook      
18Universal truth: Old women with mobile phones look wrong! Share on Facebook      
19Universal truth: One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. Share on Facebook      
20Universal truth: People who don't drive slam car doors too hard Share on Facebook