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1Ladies, when you're climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress! Share on Facebook      
2Language is the dress of thought. Share on Facebook      
3Large dogs make their own gravy. Small dogs are made into gravy. Share on Facebook      
4Last night a hole was blown in the wall of Police Headquarters. Police are looking into it. Share on Facebook      
5Last night I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad. Share on Facebook      
6Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Share on Facebook      
7Last night our high school band played Beethoven. Beethoven lost, 12 to 7. Share on Facebook      
8Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?" Share on Facebook      
9Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" Share on Facebook      
10Last time I went to the movies, I got thrown out for bringing my own food. My argument was the concession prices where outrageous. Besides, I haven't had a barbecue for a long time. Share on Facebook      
11Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall... Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown. Share on Facebook      
12Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. Share on Facebook      
13Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. Share on Facebook      
14Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday. Share on Facebook      
15Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me. Share on Facebook      
16Last year for Christmas, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I thought I'd put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Share on Facebook      
17Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. Share on Facebook      
18Last year we drove across the country. We switched on the driving. Every half mile. We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip, but I don't remember what it was. Share on Facebook      
19Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. Share on Facebook      
20Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot Share on Facebook