| 1 | A "handicapped golfer" is a man who plays golf with his wife. |
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| 2 | A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks. By that time his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly. |
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| 3 | A baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. |
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| 4 | A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce. |
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| 5 | A bachelor is like a modern cleanser: works fast and leaves no ring. |
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| 6 | A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. |
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| 7 | A bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. |
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| 8 | A backyard barbecue draws two things...flies and relatives. |
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| 9 | A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project. |
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| 10 | A bad plan is better than no plan. |
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| 11 | A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. |
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| 12 | A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it. |
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| 13 | A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
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| 14 | A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. |
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| 15 | A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. |
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| 16 | A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." |
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| 17 | A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich." |
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| 18 | A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. |
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| 19 | A bird in the hand is probably dead. |
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| 20 | A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
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