| 1 | LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. |
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| 2 | Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas. |
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| 3 | Hail to the sun god, he sure is a fun god, Ra, Ra, Ra! |
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| 4 | Hallmark Card: "I've always wanted someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind." |
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| 5 | I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me... they were cramming for their finals. |
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| 6 | It is okay to visit your past just don't bring any luggage with you. |
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| 7 | Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. |
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| 8 | I'm a peripheral visionary: I can see into the future, but just way out to the side. |
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| 9 | What passes as a woman's intuition, is usually nothing more than a mans transparency. |
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| 10 | I went to a strip mall the other day. Was I ever disappointed...Everybody else had on clothes. |
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| 11 | A lie has no legs to stand on, but it gets places. |
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| 12 | Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before. |
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| 13 | In a relationship with a woman, a man can either be right or get laid, but never both. |
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| 14 | Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
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| 15 | You know you're getting fat when you sit in your bathtub and the water in the toilet rises. |
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| 16 | Constipation causes people not to give a crap. |
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| 17 | Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. |
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| 18 | My ex-husband was temperamental: 90% temper and 10% mental. |
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| 19 | Man has will, woman has way.
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| 20 | I like feminists - I think they're cute.
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