Funniest One Liners!

1Today in Art class we were going to paint a nude model, but the teacher sent her to the office for violating dress code. Share on Facebook      
2I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. Share on Facebook      
3Have you ever noticed how there are more horse's asses than there are horses? Share on Facebook      
4The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. Share on Facebook      
5We judge others by their actions; we judge ourselves by our intentions. Share on Facebook      
6Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. Share on Facebook      
7I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. Share on Facebook      
8Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. Share on Facebook      
9Getting older, everything gets worse; except forgetfulness... That gets better. Share on Facebook      
10Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting? Share on Facebook      
11It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you lay the blame. Share on Facebook      
12The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused. Share on Facebook      
13If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying? Share on Facebook      
14Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid. Share on Facebook      
15A young person knows the rules but the old person knows the exceptions. Share on Facebook      
16If I look confused it's because I'm thinking. Share on Facebook      
17Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. Share on Facebook      
18Friction is a drag. Share on Facebook      
19That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it. Share on Facebook      
20You know you have problems when you refer to a super model from Paris as a Quarter Pounder with cheese. Share on Facebook