Funniest One Liners!

1I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability. Share on Facebook      
2I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe somebody will adopt you. Share on Facebook      
3I daydreamed that I was falling and, just before I hit the ground, I fell asleep. Share on Facebook      
4Everything is actually everything else, just recycled. Share on Facebook      
5Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors. Share on Facebook      
6Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. Share on Facebook      
7If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats. Share on Facebook      
8Error 7.0b1 - The item could not be deleted because it was missing. Share on Facebook      
9Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. Share on Facebook      
10I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat as much. Share on Facebook      
11Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it. Share on Facebook      
12Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? It's easier to run with your kilt up than your pants down! Share on Facebook      
13I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." Share on Facebook      
14Failure is no more fatal than success is permanent. Share on Facebook      
15DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast Share on Facebook      
16When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you. Share on Facebook      
17My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. Share on Facebook      
18Just when I was getting used to yesterday along came today. Share on Facebook      
19Summer must be over. My neighbour just returned my lawn furniture. Share on Facebook      
20If you do not say it, they can't repeat it. Share on Facebook