Funniest One Liners!

1Despite what you may think, nobody wins in a butter eating contest. Share on Facebook      
2Nuke the Whales! We'll hunt them at night. Share on Facebook      
3I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Share on Facebook      
4Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. Share on Facebook      
5Radar spelled backwards is radar. They get you coming and going. Share on Facebook      
6Old fishermen never die... they just smell that way. Share on Facebook      
7I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list. Share on Facebook      
8Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there. Share on Facebook      
9He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged. Share on Facebook      
10Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. Share on Facebook      
11666A, 666B - Tenants of the beast. Share on Facebook      
12If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Share on Facebook      
13Worry. God knows all about you. Share on Facebook      
14Any landing you can walk away from is a good one. Share on Facebook      
15Perfection is achieved only on the point of collapse. Share on Facebook      
16If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex? Share on Facebook      
17Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Share on Facebook      
18Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails. Share on Facebook      
19Be naughty and save Santa the trip. Share on Facebook      
20Then there's the story he tells about meeting the blond Chinese girl on a bus who tells him all her problems. She says she is on her way to therapy, because she is a nymphomaniac, but she only gets turned on by Jewish cowboys. She then says, "by the way, what is your name?" He says, "Hi, I'm Bucky Goldstein." Share on Facebook