Funniest One Liners!

1It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. Share on Facebook      
2There's always a lot to be thankful for, if you take time to look for it. Share on Facebook      
3A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. Share on Facebook      
4The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Share on Facebook      
5To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. Share on Facebook      
6Does time fly when you're having sex or was it really just one minute? Share on Facebook      
7A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato plant? The best part of him is underground. Share on Facebook      
8I will always love the false image I had of you. Share on Facebook      
9The girl with a future avoids a man with a past. Share on Facebook      
10To do two things at once is to do neither. Share on Facebook      
11A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error. Share on Facebook      
12All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way. Share on Facebook      
13I just checked a height/weight chart and found out that I am 4 inches too short. Share on Facebook      
14Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a native American! Share on Facebook      
15If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Share on Facebook      
16The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. Share on Facebook      
17If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? Share on Facebook      
18Cynics are people who know the price of everything, but the value of nothing. Share on Facebook      
19Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three dollar pantyhose that won't run. Share on Facebook      
20Humans were invented by water, for transporting it uphill. Share on Facebook