Funniest One Liners!

1Experience varies directly with equipment ruined. Share on Facebook      
2Babies are born with over 600 bones, but by adulthood they have fused into 2 large bones, Left and Right. Share on Facebook      
3I hate the country, all those animals walking around un-cooked. Share on Facebook      
4I've dated men my age, younger than me and older. The only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage. Share on Facebook      
5Few women admit their age, few men act it. Share on Facebook      
6Nostalgia is a device that removes the ruts and the potholes from Memory Lane. Share on Facebook      
7Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!. Share on Facebook      
8Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in our living rooms. Share on Facebook      
9Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. Share on Facebook      
10I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap. Share on Facebook      
11To live your life to the fullest, you've got to be a master of economics... after all, time's demand is always far exceeding it's supply. Share on Facebook      
12By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. Share on Facebook      
13They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing. <Pause> Oh wait - there they go. Share on Facebook      
14The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks. Share on Facebook      
15Electrical Engineers do it with more power and at higher frequency. Share on Facebook      
16A man is never astonished that he doesn't know what another does, but he is surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he does. Share on Facebook      
17If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people get married more than once. Share on Facebook      
18I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. Share on Facebook      
19Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. Share on Facebook      
20National Atheist's Day April 1st Share on Facebook