Funniest One Liners!

1Deciding not to choose is still making a choice. Share on Facebook      
2Universal truth: There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. Share on Facebook      
3Some people have a way with words, others not have way. Share on Facebook      
4If stupidity was painful, you'd be in agony. Share on Facebook      
5Being dyslexic has drawbacks. I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat. Share on Facebook      
6Half measures availed us nothing. Share on Facebook      
7If everything seems to be going right, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on. Share on Facebook      
8My penmanship is certainly nothing to write home about. Share on Facebook      
9Basic unit of laryngitis == 1 hoarsepower Share on Facebook      
10It's not what you wear; it's how you take it off. Share on Facebook      
11Biology grows on you. Share on Facebook      
1242.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. Share on Facebook      
13After months of training, when you finally understand all of a programs commands, the new revised edition arrives with a new command structure. Share on Facebook      
14My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Share on Facebook      
15Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. Share on Facebook      
16They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense. Share on Facebook      
17The difference between gossip and news is whether you hear it, or tell it. Share on Facebook      
18Screw me if I'm wrong, but have we met before? Share on Facebook      
19Any clod can have the facts, but having an opinion is an art. Share on Facebook      
20Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and carry on as if nothing happened. Share on Facebook