| 1 | Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? |
   |
| 2 | Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty good |
|
| 3 | I searched for the bluebird of happiness, and found the chicken of despair.
|
|
| 4 | Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
|
|
| 5 | Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray... |
|
| 6 | People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. |
|
| 7 | Universal truth: Bricks are horrible to carry.
|
|
| 8 | America is a land where citizens vote for Democrats but hope to live like Republicans. |
|
| 9 | A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows. |
|
| 10 | The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
|
|
| 11 | If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience |
|
| 12 | My mind is like concrete: thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. |
|
| 13 | Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient intelligence. |
|
| 14 | Here at First National, you're not just a number - you're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash, and another number.
|
|
| 15 | Look before you leak, for he who hesitates gets wet shoes. |
|
| 16 | Our school is very low-budgeted; our physics book is so out of date the last chapter deals with combustion. |
|
| 17 | Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance." |
|
| 18 | If the frictional force is greater than the applied force, does the object move backwards? |
|
| 19 | The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. |
|
| 20 | You can't prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but can prevent them from building their nest on it. |
|
