Funniest One Liners!

1I doubt, therefore I might be! Share on Facebook      
2Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Share on Facebook      
3Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. Share on Facebook      
4A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. Share on Facebook      
5The best things in life are free. So, how many kittens do you want? Share on Facebook      
6If I look confused it's because I'm thinking. Share on Facebook      
7I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. Share on Facebook      
8If you need time alone, try cleaning the house. Share on Facebook      
9Follow your dream; unless it's the one where your naked at work during a fire drill. Share on Facebook      
10To foretell the destiny of a nation, one has to open the book of her past. Share on Facebook      
11I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick." Share on Facebook      
12In the beginning there was nothing. And God said, "Let there be light.", and there was still nothing; but everybody could see it. Share on Facebook      
13I tried Flintstone vitamins. I didn't feel any better, but I could stop the car with my feet. Share on Facebook      
14Hit any user to continue. Share on Facebook      
15It's amazing how your kids stop coming back home once they get their own washer and dryer. Share on Facebook      
16Everyone thinks I'm psychotic...except for my friends deep inside the earth. Share on Facebook      
17Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Share on Facebook      
18Ever notice how ignorance picks-up confidence as it goes along. Share on Facebook      
19All things being equal, fat people use more soap. Share on Facebook      
20Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did. Share on Facebook