Funniest One Liners!

1Batteries not included. Share on Facebook      
2It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. Share on Facebook      
3A phone call costs less than you think. Soon it'll cost more than you believe. Share on Facebook      
4A jump-leads walks into a bar, acting aggresively. The barman says "All right, I'll serve you... but don't start anything." Share on Facebook      
5Don't worry that there won't be a tomorrow, it's already tomorrow in Australia. Share on Facebook      
6Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. Share on Facebook      
7I don't think, therefore I am not. Share on Facebook      
8In golf as in life it is the follow through that makes the difference. Share on Facebook      
9What is a commitee? It is a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. Share on Facebook      
10You can never understand the true value of something until you don't have it anymore. Share on Facebook      
11Lawyers have feelings too. Allegedly. Share on Facebook      
12A penny saved is not worth it. Share on Facebook      
13Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo. Share on Facebook      
14Most accidents happen at home - maybe we should move. Share on Facebook      
15Crime doesn't pay, but the hours are good. Share on Facebook      
16Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Share on Facebook      
17Making love is great, but sometimes don't you just wanna get laid? Share on Facebook      
18Father talking to his son: "Son, you should never lie. One lie begets another lie, then another lie, and before you know it, you're a lawyer." Share on Facebook      
19Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Share on Facebook      
20Does fuzzy logic tickle? Share on Facebook