Funniest One Liners!

1There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either one of them. Share on Facebook      
2Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Share on Facebook      
3Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation raps for years. Share on Facebook      
4National Schizophrenic's Convention: Anybody who's everybody will be there! Share on Facebook      
5I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest. Share on Facebook      
6Everyone needs to be loved. Especially when they don't deserve it. Share on Facebook      
7I have a bad slice in my golf swing, now my golf partner is dead. Share on Facebook      
8God made hundreds of millions of planets and wonderful species. But, by the time he got to us, he was scraping the bottom of the barrel. Share on Facebook      
9Monarchs are acceptable, but we draw the line at Rulers. Share on Facebook      
10I've been in love with the same woman for many years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me! Share on Facebook      
11You can have a great time with a bushel of apples and the doctor's wife. Share on Facebook      
12Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. Share on Facebook      
13Real men know the value of duct tape. Share on Facebook      
14Do you ever get the feeling that your stuff has strutted without you? Share on Facebook      
15It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber. Share on Facebook      
16As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse. Share on Facebook      
17I just checked a height/weight chart and found out that I am 4 inches too short. Share on Facebook      
18Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. Share on Facebook      
19You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think. Share on Facebook      
20I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?" Share on Facebook