Funniest One Liners!

1LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. Share on Facebook      
2Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas. Share on Facebook      
3Hail to the sun god, he sure is a fun god, Ra, Ra, Ra! Share on Facebook      
4Hallmark Card: "I've always wanted someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind." Share on Facebook      
5I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me... they were cramming for their finals. Share on Facebook      
6It is okay to visit your past just don't bring any luggage with you. Share on Facebook      
7Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. Share on Facebook      
8I'm a peripheral visionary: I can see into the future, but just way out to the side. Share on Facebook      
9What passes as a woman's intuition, is usually nothing more than a mans transparency. Share on Facebook      
10I went to a strip mall the other day. Was I ever disappointed...Everybody else had on clothes. Share on Facebook      
11A lie has no legs to stand on, but it gets places. Share on Facebook      
12Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before. Share on Facebook      
13In a relationship with a woman, a man can either be right or get laid, but never both. Share on Facebook      
14Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. Share on Facebook      
15You know you're getting fat when you sit in your bathtub and the water in the toilet rises. Share on Facebook      
16Constipation causes people not to give a crap. Share on Facebook      
17Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Share on Facebook      
18My ex-husband was temperamental: 90% temper and 10% mental. Share on Facebook      
19Man has will, woman has way. Share on Facebook      
20I like feminists - I think they're cute. Share on Facebook