Funniest One Liners!

1I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Share on Facebook      
2Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places. Share on Facebook      
3If you're not having fun, then you're not doing it right. Share on Facebook      
4I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me. Share on Facebook      
5Anything is easier to take apart than to put together. Share on Facebook      
6Don't tell a man how to do a thing. Tell him what you want done, and he'll surprise you with his ingenuity. Share on Facebook      
7What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Share on Facebook      
8Law of the Non-smoker: The smoke in a room will always flow to the only non-smoker, despite the number of fans. If there are two non-smokers in the room, the smoke will split in half to equally antagonize them. Share on Facebook      
9You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions? Share on Facebook      
10Women and tax forms have a lot in common...Men love to cheat on them. Share on Facebook      
11A man who scratches his ass should not bite his fingernails. Share on Facebook      
12I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you. Share on Facebook      
13The shortest distance between two points is under construction. Share on Facebook      
14Where am I going? And why am I in this HANDBASKET? Share on Facebook      
15I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. Share on Facebook      
16Do one thing at time, with supreme excellence. (NASA) Share on Facebook      
17I've had amnesia as long as I can remember. Share on Facebook      
18Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear? Share on Facebook      
19Vanna White has been very sick. She hasn't had a vowel movement since Thursday. Share on Facebook      
20If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight? Share on Facebook