Funniest One Liners!

1The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. Share on Facebook      
2Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. Share on Facebook      
3Factorials were someone's attempt to make math *look* exciting. Share on Facebook      
4To know what you know, and to know what you don't know is true knowledge. Share on Facebook      
5Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. Share on Facebook      
6If you are not enjoying your work, you should either change your attitude, or change your job. Share on Facebook      
7I was walking down the street and saw a sign on a post. It said: "Lost -- $50. If found, just keep it." Share on Facebook      
8Oh yeah? You wanna step out of the giant robot and say that again? Share on Facebook      
9Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. Share on Facebook      
10If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! Share on Facebook      
11There is so much nudity on TV these days...I just sit there and shake my fist. Share on Facebook      
12When I die, bury me upside down so the whole world can kiss my ass. Share on Facebook      
13Deep Throat: Think about it. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. How do school teachers handle this? Share on Facebook      
14I was so poor, I couldn't pay attention. Share on Facebook      
15Peta - People Eating Tasty Animals. Share on Facebook      
16Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Share on Facebook      
17Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. Share on Facebook      
18Practice safe snacking - use condiments. Share on Facebook      
19It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month. Share on Facebook      
20Where do you find a no legged dog? Right where you left him. Share on Facebook