Funniest One Liners!

1I have faith in fools, my friends call it self-confidence. Share on Facebook      
2Women are like pianos... When they're not upright, they're grand. Share on Facebook      
3Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case. Share on Facebook      
4Don't run, you'll just die tired. Share on Facebook      
5The wages of sin are eternal damnation. (the hours are good though) Share on Facebook      
6Eschew obfuscation. Share on Facebook      
7Conservative: a man who believes nothing should be done for the first time. Share on Facebook      
8Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? Share on Facebook      
9Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" Share on Facebook      
10He who hesitates is probably right. Share on Facebook      
11There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. Share on Facebook      
12If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child. Share on Facebook      
13If rabbit's feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit? Share on Facebook      
14Trees don't fall in the forest when no one's around to see them. Sometimes they just happen to be on the ground when you see them again. Share on Facebook      
15I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Share on Facebook      
16There are people in this world who do not love their fellow man... I hate people like that ! Share on Facebook      
17A man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name. Share on Facebook      
18I named my dog 'Herpes' because he won't heel. Share on Facebook      
19There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. Share on Facebook      
20Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself. Share on Facebook