| 1 | It's amazing how your kids stop coming back home once they get their own washer and dryer. |
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| 2 | Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming. |
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| 3 | What now is proved was once only imagined. |
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| 4 | Ever wonder what they call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp? |
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| 5 | When in doubt, do what the President does. Guess. |
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| 6 | According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist. |
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| 7 | You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
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| 8 | I am Fudd, of Borg. Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm assimiwating. |
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| 9 | Always believe a woman when she says: "You don't want to know!" |
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| 10 | Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. |
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| 11 | You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back. |
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| 12 | Have you been to www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com yet? Well, don't. It sucks. All it shows is a white screen with black letters that read, 'The page cannot be displayed.' Cheap bastards. |
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| 13 | Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade! |
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| 14 | If I have to get male pattern baldness, I'd like zig-zags please. |
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| 15 | The only reason I take my wife anywhere is so I don't have to kiss her goodbye. |
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| 16 | Frankly, Scallop, I don't give a clam. |
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| 17 | The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
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| 18 | I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.
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| 19 | Let's say you stuff a cat's tail up his ass until it peeks out of his mouth, and you give the tip of its tail a sound yank. Would the cat turn inside out? |
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| 20 | I go to a woman dentist. It's a relief to be told to open my mouth instead of to shut it. |
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