Funniest One Liners!

1A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." Share on Facebook      
2Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition. Share on Facebook      
3Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. Share on Facebook      
4Fanatics are the first to betray their beliefs in order to defend them. Share on Facebook      
5Is "tired old cliche" one? Share on Facebook      
6An adult is someone old enough to know better. Share on Facebook      
7A smile is like tight underwear...it makes your cheeks go up. Share on Facebook      
8My wife says my lovemaking is like a news bulletin. Brief, unexpected and usually a disaster. Share on Facebook      
9We must believe in free will. We have no choice. Share on Facebook      
10A dog who attends a flea circus most likely will steal the whole show. Share on Facebook      
11At my age, actions creak louder than words. Share on Facebook      
12Show me Miss Piggy's laundry and I'll show you a lot of hogwash. Share on Facebook      
13Never miss a good opportunity to shut up. Share on Facebook      
14I am at one with my duality. Share on Facebook      
15When life hands you gators, make Gatorade. Share on Facebook      
16I couldn't afford to buy cotton so I decided to be abrasive, and steel wool. Share on Facebook      
17A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend. Share on Facebook      
18I would have made a good Pope. Share on Facebook      
19I was going to procrastinate. But I decided to leave it till later. Share on Facebook      
20At six I was left an orphan. What the hell is a six year old supposed to do with an orphan?! Share on Facebook