| 1 | Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between. |
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| 2 | Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy. |
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| 3 | I find that planning my future saves me from regretting my past. |
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| 4 | Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it |
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| 5 | To be content with little is hard; to be content with much is impossible. |
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| 6 | The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. |
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| 7 | I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. |
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| 8 | Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool. |
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| 9 | A professional golfer takes longer to line up a six-foot putt than the Toyota Corporation takes to turn raw iron ore into a Corolla. |
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| 10 | Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. |
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| 11 | The only job you start at the top is digging a hole. |
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| 12 | Of course I have friends! I have Jerry, he's the one standing behind you with the machette. |
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| 13 | You say tomato, I say ketchup.
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| 14 | If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria. |
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| 15 | Go now, or forever hold your pee. |
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| 16 | My mind is like concrete: thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. |
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| 17 | Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. |
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| 18 | Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. |
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| 19 | Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen. |
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| 20 | There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. |
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